Bumper Stickers

Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.

I'd love to trade Caller I.D. with Caller I.Q.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

The truth is out there but I forget the URL

Sacred cows make the best burgers VENI, VIDI, VISA I came, I saw, I bought

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor You can learn a lot about a person if you just take the time to inject them with sodium pentathol

Follow your Dreams except that one where you're at school in your underwear

A poor memory is not the same as a clear conscience Wealth is its own reward

I love cats, but I can't eat a whole one Top Ten reasons to procrastinate: 1.

Your body may be a temple. Mine's an amusement park

Saturday has a morning? Witches Parking (All others will be toad)

I don't have hot flashes. I have short, private vacations in the tropics.

Faster than a speeding ticket If this car was a horse, I'd have to shoot it

Doctors say I have multiple personalities, but we don't agree with that.

My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips. IRS: Be Audit You Can Be

To err is human, to forgive divine. Neither is government policy.

The last time politics and religion were mixed, people were burned at the stake.

Forgive and Forget but keep a list of the names What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

I'm so hot I contribute to Global Warming!

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun Love him like a king. Train him like a dog.

God created man first. You need a rough draft before a masterpiece.

Does a Beer Run count as exercise? Squirrels: Nature's little speed bumps

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else If you can read this, I lost my trailer!

Why do they call it

My 401K is now a 101K Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

Home is where you hang your @

I'm not cheap, but I AM on special this week! Boycott Shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.

Mental backup in progress. Do Not Disturb!

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound and 1% advice.

Women are God's Rubiks Cubes Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

You can view these, and many more, at Den's Diner

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